Setting Boundaries: A Personal Lesson

Today I had to battle my inner self. There are sometimes in my life when I debate between the way I see things and the way they actually are. Today, I had a full on boxing match with myself and am still not sure what to think of it all. I guess it’ all a matter of opinion and feeling. All I know is that my feelings got hurt and I approached the situation the only way that I knew how.

Everyday I give advice, share my opinion, listen to your stories, your worries and your concerns and try my best to lead you into the direction that is right for you. Today I have my toughest client…myself.

Setting boundaries is a difficult situation. When are they appropriate and when do they create chaos?   What situation constitutes the need for one? How do you set one? Sometimes the people that are hardest to approach are those who mean the most. I had a feeling of inner conflict. I was confused, angry, hurt and I knew that it would only escalate. I also knew that it was a delicate situation requiring a delicate approach. For those who know me understand that my approach is rarely delicate. This was going to be difficult and took careful consideration because the last thing that I want is to hurt or offend a loved one.

I approached it with angst and am left feeling worse with a sense of relief. Relieved that I had the courage to stand up for what I love. Worse because now two of us hurt.

The lesson that I can take away from all of this is that the truth may not be the easiest route but it is the most direct. As my friend Laura taught me in Hawaii, it’s never easy but it is that simple. If I can’t be honest with myself, who can I be honest with. I had to evaluate what I would accept and what I wouldn’t. It was hard…and it still is. But to be vulnerable enough to share my feelings and fears without hesitation is a reflection of growth. Today I learned a hard lesson and can face tomorrow with a new perspective.

Night,

Cyn

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