Have you ever woken up on a Monday morning and asked yourself how you were able to spend so much money over the weekend and have so very little to show for it? Lord knows I have! Not just once, but numerous times. Today I came across the funniest blog post that I have read in a long time and had to share it. It has to do with the realization of how easy it can be to spend a week’s pay in two days. Not to mention that it is written by one of the funniest guys I know. His name is Justin Czarnecki and his blog is called I Motivate You.
He writes about fun stuff like life in a cubicle, dating debacles, battling winter weight, his dream of a picket-fence, being a wing man, falling in love with a girl’s Facebook photo, and sometimes even the Bachelorette (no that’s not weird, it’s the male perspective of course). After reading his post below, check out a few more of his funny posts and don’t forget to subscribe to his RSS feed for your monthly dose of funny.
Introducing Czar and his article “Weekend Spending”.
Weekends come and go faster than you can blink. One minute it is Friday night and I am headed home from work and the next minute it is Sunday night and I am watching Step Brothers on FX for the 8th week in a row. That is not the basis of this blog however, this blog is to show you how impossible it is to stick to a budget. In my mind I am the best budgetor in the entire world. I know bills going out, money coming in…..but more importantly my wife and I know how to have a good time according to our bank account Monday morning. GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSHHHHHH. I am going to walk you through a basic weekend of spending for the Czarnecki family.
Friday night after work my wife wanted to meet me at the Varsity Club after work, she brought her car, I brought mine, it was almost like a date which was kind of cool. I walked in, gave her a kiss, sat down to see that she was already about 4 sips into her Red Bull and vodka, I ordered a draft of Miller Lite and we began talking about our day. We both decided that we could go for a pizza so we order the large sausage, mushroom and onion pizza and for an appetizer we order motzerella sticks. We continue talking, I have about 3 more beers and she orders one more cocktail. When it was all said and done our first bill of the weekend was right around $50.00.
While we were eating I was receiving texts from Jessicas daughter about dinner, she was with her friends and wanted to know if they could go to Old Country Buffet, to which I asked if she had any money. Her response was “No”, my response back was “go make some food at home then”. Jess and I return home to see her daughter and two friends looking through the cabinets for food. The thing was they really wanted Jimmy Johns. Jess then handed her daughter over $30.00 for Jimmy Johns for her and her two friends. I thought it was a nice gesture although I dont think either of her friends said thank you. That pissed me off.
Sooooooo Jess and I get ready and go to Rays and Dots where we are meeting some friends for a drink or two before we relocate for the night to Village Days in Greendale. Jess has a Red Bull and Vodka, I have a draft of Modelo and also order a couple beers for our friends. We leave Ray and Dots 45 minutes later spending only $18.00.
It is now about 9pm and we have spent $98.00.
We walk to Village Days in Greendale which is basically summed up by a beer tent and a band singing Usher and Lady Gaga. Beers are going for $3.50 a piece and I am ready to make it rain. Jess and her girlfriend go order the first round, not sure who paid and the night begins. The rest of the night we bought rounds, our friends bought rounds blah blah blah. About half way through the night I noticed that I knew one of the dudes serving beers in the tent, from that point on the only thing I spent money on was tipping.
Waking up in the morning was fine, no headache to speak of, Jess felt great and the sun was shining. Jess went through her purse I went through my wallet and I didnt even have a quarter. She also was coming up empty meaning that the $200.00 that was taken out for the entire weekend was spent in a 7 hour period.
Lets move into Saturday shall we…..Jess has a hair appointment at 11:30am which will probably cost somewhere between $130-$160. I actually don’t want to know so I won’t even ask. I sit in bed thinking to myself well I want to do something during her hair appointment. I wanted some “me time”. This is what my “me time” consisted of. I went to the dry cleaners and spent $37.00. I went to go see a movie by myself $7.50 for the ticket, $9.00 at the concession stand. I got a soda and some Reeses Pieces and it was $9.00. After the movie I notice that the sun is shining and I really wanted to buy some sunglasses. I have wanted them for a few months now and decided that there was no better time than now to spend $126.00 on sunglasses, so that is exactly what I did. By 1pm on saturday afternoon I am into our checking account for $180.00 and that isn’t even adding in Jess’ hair did. Lets just say that Jessicas hair costed $130.00 that puts us at $310.00 at 1:30pm on Saturday afternoon.
Now it is time to get ready and go to State Fair for the afternoon. We bought 2 tickets from some random dude on the street for $16.00. We get in and Jess wants a corndog $5.00 and I want a beer. While I am getting a beer Jess says “while you are it get me a Mikes Hard Lemonade”…..$11.25. We walk around for a little bit making fun of the people and I get another beer $5.25. At this point I get a text from my friend Phillip Hansen telling us that he is by a bar with his fiance. Jess and I scoot on over there. We order drinks for us and them and luckily they take credit cards because I didn’t want to spend any more cash. 4 beers cost me a measley $21.00. As I am standing there talking to my friend I realize I still owed him $40.00 from his bachelor party the weekend before. I ask Jess if she has any cash left and she does, she has exactly $40.00. We hand that over to PJ so there are no hard feelings. Now we don’t have any cash left and it is 6pm in the late afternoon. At this point we have now spent $100.00 at State Fair with the $40.00 I owed Phillip. Phil and Andrea bought the next round and we took off to another beer tent. On the way to the beer tent Jess saw an ATM and took out another $100.00 and was charged a $3.00 fee.
We get to the beer tent and I am ready to have some fun, to make a really long story short I bought a few rounds, Phil bought a few rounds, my boss bought a few rounds and I have probably put another $80.00 on my credit card by the time Phil and Andrea needed to head out. After Phil and Andrea leave it is now time for Jess and I to get down and eat some food.
Here is what we had:
And another Corn dog
The next morning Jess has $30.00 left from the $100.00 she took out. I spent $80.00 on my credit card. Grand total at State Fair $250.00.
Grand total Friday = $200.00
Grand total Saturday = $560.00
$760.00 later and all we have to show for it is a pair of sunglasses and Jess’ new bangs.
Can anyone say they spent more this weekend?
The best part about it is that Friday afternoon Jess emailed me and said “should I take out $100.00 for the weekend”.
Hugs and Handpounds,